MTC Reflections

Maybe I'm getting older, maybe I'm getting more sentimental, but I find myself a little feklempt reading the second-year reflections, especially when someone mentions an earlier participant who helped to guide them as a teacher.  Here are links to (in the order that I have them bookmarked on my Mac), and a little blurb from, each of the second-year reflections:

Mary's first paragraph made me laugh out loud: Two years ago I was 22 and not yet a college graduate. When I arrived in Mississippi I had 3 suitcases and no idea what to expect. I knew I was assigned to teach somewhere called Greenwood. In my head, I pictured a quaint little town like the one I grew up in, in Alaska, with one or two local coffeehouses and maybe even a used bookstore. In a word, I was clueless.

Chris: At this point, though admittedly close to the events in question, I’d have to consider my Mississippi Teacher Corps experience to be largely a failure. I have come to this conclusion after about two years of thought, even though writing it now I feel as if I am voicing a rash, rush judgment.

This paragraph from Deb made me laugh out loud as well: My first week here, I went to a welcoming party for the 1st years in the program and got chiggers, basically a bug infestation in your body. They burrow under you skin (very inconspicuously!) and leave at their own leisure. I had bites all over my feet and legs; one day the itching pain was so bad I had to get a shot of “Numb Me Up” so I could 1) stop tearing up from the pain, 2) walk at a speed greater than one mile per hour, 3) not resent being awake and, furthermore, in Mississippi. Perhaps I should have taken this as a hint and left with Anne…

Jon: Without going through Mississippi Teacher Corp I would not be able to truly understand what generational poverty is. Last year when a kid would clown in class I had no sympathy. Now that I know my kids a hundred times better, when they do clown I can actually find out what is going on inside of them. Most times the problems stem from something that is associated with poverty. Problems ranging from being grown, shame of dirty clothes and or body, shame of family reputation, sexual exploration and or promiscuity, and to something as simple as constant paranoia of being picked on.

Hunter: The highlight of this year, however, has been getting to be the head basketball coach. Basketball has played such a big part of my life since I was a little kid, so I was so happy and proud to get the opportunity to coach in Jackson, an area known for its basketball play. It also made it even more special that we won the city championship...

Mike gives us a day in the life: Four o'clock. Out to duty. Four-fifteen. Back to the classroom for tutoring. Nelson failed my class last semester, but comes to tutoring two or three times a week, to make sure he doesn't fail again. Jameese came because she was tardy to class and I would not let her in. Chloe has been "missing some days" and came to try to get some sort of idea of what we are doing in class. Greg came to try to learn how to solve quadratic equations, so he can retake the test he made a 44 on. I taught Carliza Algebra I last year, and she came by because she was bored, so I gave her some quadratic equations to solve. She brought a friend, who spent half her time helping Carliza with the equations and the other half dancing.

Lisetta: For the first week and a half of school, I woke up with so much dread that I couldn’t even eat breakfast, meaning that I was weak and shaking from the time the kids showed up until I calmed down enough to have a snack. The more I think about those days, the more amazed I am that I survived all that.

Jamila: Perhaps one of my most enjoyable experiences as a teacher was serving as an assistant basketball coach last year. I love the game of basketball and enjoyed being around it and the players. Through extracurricular activities, teachers have the opportunity to be around students in a nonacademic setting which allows the students to see that the teachers are just people too.

Elizabeth: A common pitfall of MTCers is to have the idea that we can change the students, the administrators, or the system, but perhaps that's not why we should be here. If that is our goal, we will a) miss out on all the beauty of our children, and b) fail. My children this year are amazing; they don't need to be changed, just educated and loved like any other teacher would, MTC or not.

Ashley: I feel that MTC gave me a chance to get rid of much of the junk I had in my life. It has given me a chance to clear my mind and think. I have become my own person. I am no longer the person people want me to be...

Lisa: I came in with my ideas about right and wrong, with my idealism and hope, and been completely washed over by one of those waves that curl, crest, and break over your head. I feel like a fool, holding up a fly swatter in which I have complete faith, because it's always been effective before, and then a lion enters the room and examines my defense with raised eyebrows.

Stephen: If you asked me today, I would still say that I’m not a very good teacher. That’s probably because I don’t compare myself to the teachers at either of my schools. I really compare myself to the other teachers in the MTC. I have seen excellence. I have peers that work so hard and have so many ideas that it is often an inspiration for me to keep up.

Melissa refers to, I'm assuming, Elizabeth Savage (for the first-years reading this, Elizabeth will again assist us with the summer training): Back in Oxford I meet the woman who’s going to shape my teaching experience, fortunately so, and learn my first day in her classroom that, in our case … ice really is more powerful than fire.  Welcome to Teacher Corps.

Jeremy: I think a good analogy for the whole experience is the way I feel when I go home for a long break or holiday.  All the misery, difficulty, and hard work I've been through leave a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction.  A lot of the crazy things that happen and cause headaches during the day turn into funny stories down the road.  I end up missing my students and my job, in spite of all the daily crap I deal with.  I wonder how I could quit doing the job that I've dreaded and trudged through for the last 9 weeks.

Aaron: So I applied for the program, and somehow I got in.  At first I felt overwhelmed at times about the company I was in.  Some of my classmates received degrees from rather prestigious institutions, others had life experiences that made me envious, and some had both.  Others could articulate a consuming desire to make a difference in the world around them or had a genuine interest in the impoverished children struggling in Delta schools.  And then there was me.  I just wanted to stay close to my girlfriend, and was willing to subject myself to what some would consider “cruel and unusual punishment” in order to stay.  At first I felt like I was just taking the place of a more-deserved candidate.  Then I began my first school year at the West Tallahatchie School District.

Ward: At this point an honest reflection on my journey is far more mystifying, like the climber who sees clouds below and above him and can't tell where he is relative to the summit.

Holly brings up a question I often ask myself: What is the goal of teacher corps?  I can't believe that the goal is simply to provide teachers to critical needs school districts for two years at a time.  There must be a critical mass of people who believe in change for any sustainable improvements.  I know there has been talk of moving in this direction, either by placing people in higher positions (Principal Corps) or by starting some kind of teacher corps school similar to summer school.  I also understand the drawbacks of placing many teacher corps teachers at one school (inevitably, they would be seen as "outsiders" and hostile to the veteran teachers)...but I still feel like some sort of move in this direction should be made.  Maybe the change is coming...I'm just frustrated that I couldn't have made more of a difference in my two years.

Austin: My mental health has been the defining issue of my Mississippi Teacher Corps experience. I first began this effort by recapitulating my feelings about the Teacher Corps program, because the prospect of writing retrospectively about my own two years in Mississippi seemed so dauntingly difficult. Truth be told, there is so little to feel proud of. I have not been my best in any way, and I have underachieved as a teacher. I myself have not been a teacher fit for my ideal school, and at times it has rocked my self-belief to the very core.

Landon: All my conversations outside of school somehow spiraled back to specific children, arguments over whose administrators were more inept, or practices for effective classroom management. Not only were the latter half of Sundays devoted to planning, but lesson ideas started to creep into my dreams (students, parents, and other teachers showed up shortly thereafter). My girlfriend was becoming increasingly less patient with my seemingly same, lame excuse for why we couldn't go out more: "I've got to get some grading done". Teaching honestly was a way of life I couldn't escape. Students who I'd become close with would begin texting me or staying after school to talk to me about their problems, problems which I would take home with me. Even over Christmas and Spring Break, my mind never left my students or my classroom.